Nothing to Fear but Fear

We all know the phrase coined by FDR, “we have nothing to fear, but fear it self.” I have never understood that phrase better than I do now, after 8 years of the Bush administration and my own experience in life dealing with my demons.

I think of myself as an emotionally strong individual. I am comfortable getting in an airplane, climbing on a rollercoaster, driving faster than I should. I must confess to not understanding for a moment what an agoraphobic feels like when he or she cannot leave their home; it seems impossible to me to be that scared.

At the same time I have watched as the country I love trades away freedoms in the name of finding security, I have watched as liberties are taken away to the sound of the thunderous approval of my fellow citizens. I watched as for 8 years an administration manipulated the fears of our country with the “Threat Level;” does anyone really know what threat level orange really means? We hear it in the airport every time we fly. Has it really made us safer?

Even now, on ABC there is a “reality” show called Homeland Security… astonishing.

The emperor has no clothes I say! We are no safer today than we were on 9/10/2001 and I would submit that we were safe enough then. Stripping naked while trying to board an aircraft has done nothing more than make us scared; it has not made us safer.

The other place that the power of fear is evident in our society is in how homosexuality is viewed by conservative religions. The basis of the arguments opposing same sex marriage are all rooted in some unfound fear that the mere act of same sex couples marrying somehow threatens heterosexual marriage. Come now. What is there to fear about same sex couples marrying?

I think I understand the power of fear even better in the context of my own life. If you read me consistently, you know how I struggle with finances and love among other things. And I find myself reacting totally out of fear to the point of being paralyzed sometimes.

I am fearful of loosing my job, because of that I am fearful about being able to afford to visit my daughter each month in Seattle and because of that I postpone purchasing tickets so they become even more expensive.

I am fearful of being alone, and so I desperately thrash about looking for someone to date; attractive right?

I am fearful of being able to afford to pay future bills, so I don’t pay the current ones in order to save money.

It’s all twisted, but that is my point. Fear f*cks with your mind (sorry about the expletive but it seemed to be the only appropriate word).

So I am in the midst of trying to not be so fearful so that I will be able to deal with the things I need to deal with.

Oh that is so easy to say.

I look forward to when it is easy to do.

I pray that with the advent of the Obama administration, we can cling to the hope through the difficult months and years ahead, and make the tough choices, unfrozen by fear.