So we are a community comprised of social outcasts because of our genetic predisposition to loving the same sex. We became a community to support each other and help others to not have to go through what we did as they choose to come out. At least that is my general understanding.
What confuses me is why we have this idea that we should separate into these sub groups with very specific guidelines and rules for inclusion. I suppose it bothers me because I don't fit neatly into ANY of the pre-described slots and so like so many dead letters, I end up on the floor of the sorting room.
For those of you who are close to me this isn't news, you have probably heard me rant about it before, and I apologize. For some I am not hairy enough, for others I am too hairy. For some I am too big and for others I am not big enough. And so it goes on and on and I end up feeling like I don't know what is expected of me.
Today for example I was chatting with a very sweet young man who insists that I am Daddy. That is all well and good for some fun now and again, but really folks, I have a soon to be 13 year old for who I am truly her daddy. I don't need a 20 year old who calls me that because it makes his dick hard. It is hard to escape the stereotype though. I am 45 and what hair I have is gray. I am a big man so it is natural to be seen as daddy, and as I say, once in a while in the bedroom, can you call me that... sure. I only have problems when that is the only thing you can call me. Sometimes... I might want you to be daddy.
When I first came out I met a man 15+ years my senior who was very sweet and held my hand as I came out. He would tell me how he didn't understand all these rolls we have created in our beloved community. When he came into the community, you got naked and did what ever came natural, maybe sometimes you were the top and other times you were the bottom. That sounds so much like me... and yet I cannot seem to find other men who feel the same.
I think it may be along the lines of why conservatism is so popular. Just listen to them, there is black and white and no gray. It is all very easy. And so the rolls in our community also make it easy, you're in the club or you're not. How sad for us that we have become like every other part of society and have lost our ability to include all of those who have been given the special gift of loving people of the same gender.
I prefer living my life in all its messy technicolor glory. Anybody want to join me?
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