Where have you been Dianne???

Don't get me wrong. we're glad that you have joined us, but I think we could have used you with us from the beginning. Take a look:

Gotta Love A "Disney" Movie

Okay... I laughed out loud in the office over this one. I don't know who at College Humor is so funny, but this is GREAT!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Faith vs Faith

So I continue to get irritated by the rhetoric of the Yes on Prop. 8 people. I heard what amounted to an 8 minute infomercial on my local PBS station this morning about how the Catholic Church supports proposition 8 because of the church's stand on homosexuality. What irritates me is I am a Christian as well, and my faith causes me to oppose proposition 8 because of it's ban on same sex marriage. So who is to say who's faith is right. 

Well I think the US Constitution settles the argument in my favor. This country was founded not as a Christian nation as so often we are told by the conservatives. The country was founded on the principal of religious FREEDOM. Freedom that means the government MUST stay out of religious matters. The law must be BLIND in that regard. So in order for the law to be blind, it cannot exclude any rights. Ahh a slippery slope, I know. But I think it does apply here. 

The California Supreme court did not mandate that the Catholic Church MUST marry same sex couples, it only mandated that the State must recognize those unions equally before the law. BUT proposition 8 WOULD mandate that MCC could NOT marry same sex couples, thus taking rights away and codifying discrimination into our state constitution for the first time in the state's history. 

Of course you can extend these arguments to absurd conclusions like men marrying dogs, but people let's be reasonable, we are talking about CONSENTING ADULTS, that MUST count for something. 

Join me in voting against discrimination by voting NO on PROPOSITION 8! 

God Bless Andy, Opie, Richie and The Fonz

There is not much commentary necessary for this one. Just check it out. It is funny, poignant, and so on target! 

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Republican Women are So HOT!

Okay I admit it, I am stealing the title from a lesbian friend, you go Stephanie! 

I was reading some of what my Facebook friends are up to this morning and I ran across the following video post of Sarah Palin in Kuwait shooting an automatic weapon, take a look:

So who wouldn't be scared of this woman being vice president 

of the United States, and likely president if John McCain 

continues to loose it. Let's remember he is the same age as 

Ronald Wilson Regan was when Regan began his SECOND 

term, and now we know that Regan was beginning to show signs 

of Alzheimer's Disease. 

How is is possible that we are on the verge of possibly electing 

this man and the dingbat woman he chose as his running mate??? 

WAKE UP AMERICA! 

STOP THE MADNESS!

Pigeon Holed

Some of the recent events in my life have caused me to be thinking about my place in the world that is the Gay Community. There are several things I just don't understand. The biggest of which I will dig into here. 

So we are a community comprised of social outcasts because of our genetic predisposition to loving the same sex. We became a community to support each other and help others to not have to go through what we did as they choose to come out. At least that is my general understanding. 

What confuses me is why we have this idea that we should separate into these sub groups with very specific guidelines and rules for inclusion. I suppose it bothers me because I don't fit neatly into ANY of the pre-described slots and so like so many dead letters, I end up on the floor of the sorting room. 

For those of you who are close to me this isn't news, you have probably heard me rant about it before, and I apologize. For some I am not hairy enough, for others I am too hairy. For some I am too big and for others I am not big enough. And so it goes on and on and I end up feeling like I don't know what is expected of me. 

Today for example I was chatting with a very sweet young man who insists that I am Daddy. That is all well and good for some fun now and again, but really folks, I have a soon to be 13 year old for who I am truly her daddy. I don't need a 20 year old who calls me that because it makes his dick hard. It is hard to escape the stereotype though. I am 45 and what hair I have is gray. I am a big man so it is natural to be seen as daddy, and as I say, once in a while in the bedroom, can you call me that... sure. I only have problems when that is the only thing you can call me. Sometimes... I might want you to be daddy. 

When I first came out I met a man 15+ years my senior who was very sweet and held my hand as I came out. He would tell me how he didn't understand all these rolls we have created in our beloved community. When he came into the community, you got naked and did what ever came natural, maybe sometimes you were the top and other times you were the bottom. That sounds so much like me... and yet I cannot seem to find other men who feel the same. 

I think it may be along the lines of why conservatism is so popular. Just listen to them, there is black and white and no gray. It is all very easy. And so the rolls in our community also make it easy, you're in the club or you're not. How sad for us that we have become like every other part of society and have lost our ability to include all of those who have been given the special gift of loving people of the same gender. 

I prefer living my life in all its messy technicolor glory. Anybody want to join me? 

Boys; You Can't Live With 'Em, and You Can't Have Sex Without 'Em

I was reminded yesterday evening of how difficult it is when someone you are seeing makes a unilateral decision about your relationship. It has happened to me on several occasions in my own dating life. You are going along seemingly knitting your lives together and giving more and more of your heart only to have the rug pulled out from under you in a phone call, e-mail, IM or conversation. You are left standing there wondering what you have done, why you have risked getting hurt again. 

For me the answer is simple, without risk there is no possibility of reward. In the moment this is little comfort, in fact, it won't even stop the ache for a millisecond, but it is the underlying reason why we risk our hearts, gay or straight, to be in relationship. 

It is also the foundation of why I am a man of faith. I believe that we are called to relationship with the Creator and that our interpersonal relationships are were we learn how to be in relationship with God. Unfortunately we are frail humans subject to the imperfection of our being and we often end up hurting each other. It sucks. 

But in those times when it sucks, we learn things about ourselves, sometimes things we don't want to know, sometimes things we always knew. Most importantly we are reminded that we are alive, and able to feel emotion and able to form attachments to other people. 

It is the scandal of being gay, we are just like the straight community. We can break each other's hearts and find it within ourselves to move on. 

You get extra credit if you get the two song references in the last two paragraphs. 

We'd Like to Thank You Herbert Hoover

Those of you who know me understand how I have this strange ability or affliction to attach events to songs... so this morning this wonderful song keeps running through my head, from a musical that I am not all that enamored with... Annie. 

It strikes me as unbelievable that the men and women that we send to Washington DC can fail time and time again to discern when it is in the country's best interest not to listen to popular opinion. Of course it makes sense along an issue like gay marriage where one side of the aisle believes the world is black and white and there is no gray, let alone color... but when it comes to our economic well being, how can these men and women be so short sighted. 

So yesterday along largely ideological lines the House of Representatives defeated the economic recovery package sending the world's financial markets into a tail spin. We are quick to point out that it wasn't the worst fall... by percentage... but it was the biggest number, 777 points... OUCH. And so we are doomed to continue to ride this roller coaster that is the financial markets of the world, and I am doomed to have more friends and possibly even me, loose their jobs. Many of which now are people that have high positions, executive vice presidents that have given more than 10 years of service to their companies, yes friends that's just how bad it is. 

It is so bad, that I am afraid to call some companies because I am not sure who's still there. And all this brought to you by... our president shrub and his friends who believe that if you just give more money to the rich people and big corporations, surely some of that will dribble down to the rest of us. 

Funny, it would seem that if you give the rich and large corporations more money, they gamble it away trying to make even more. Maybe it's time we try it a different way. Maybe it is, as Barack Obama says, time for a change. Real change. Not the change of, "look at me I'm a Maverick, even though I have been here 40 years". Maybe it's time we put a little money in the pockets of those who make less than $200,000/year and finance it by increasing the taxes on the gamblers who make more than that and have been living high on the hog by the sweat of the rest of our labors. 

Funny the last "tax and spend liberal" who was elected to 8 years left us with a surplus and a booming economy. Let's just remember that as the right tries yet again to make that label stick to the only HOPE we have had in decades. 

Aren't we glad something has distracted me from my personal life? =0) 

The Pain of Change

I apologize if I am stuck recently on the same subjects, namely how my life is changing before my eyes of late, but I find that writing down the raw thoughts in my mind helps me keep moving forward. And they are truly the raw thoughts at the moment I am writing. 

So this is a huge week of transition. One housemate is moving out and we are re-configuring our lives to move on. By Thursday I will likely be alone in the little house on Del Vale with just Peety and Chipdog. It's going to be hard for me, I am dreading it really because it will mark the moment from which nothing will ever be the same. 

That's not to say that things haven't been changing all summer, but there is a finality when someone moves. Somehow it's all irrevocable from there. I suspect I have to get used to that feeling in the pit of my stomach, because I think there is going to be a lot of moving going on in the next year. 

As we all know, change is uncomfortable for the human species, and so I am not an exception. I just struggle so hard to make friends, and we are talking just friends here, that to have my whole friend structure turned on its ear, scares me. It seems like I am going to be forced to travel alone, and explore alone and that's sad. Of course, there will be joint trips and time spent together as friends, but it will never again be what it has been, and so I mourn. 

Someday I will look back on this from some other perspective, and this will all be the beginning of where I am then, god do I wish I could see from that place right now so maybe... just maybe... it wouldn't hurt so much to be where I am now. 

Move On...

As in all times of transition, some days are just better than others. This has very much turned out to be a summer of discovery and transition for me. At times it feels like a forest fire burning through clearing the dead underbrush of my life. Then there are the times when it feels like there is the new grand adventure right in front of me. And then there are days like today when I just wish the pain would stop. That feeling of a raw open wound that is constantly being irritated. 

I have had the Sondheim song Move On running through my head all morning. How I wish it was as easy as those two words. When you find yourself waking up realizing you have been in a relationship of sorts for many years that has all of a sudden come to an end, it's hard to just move on. 

It is these times when I realize just how much I used to do with my peeps. Part of the problem is that I am at once thrilled and inspired for some of the developments, but some of those same developments mean I am no longer necessary. The role I used to fill... or maybe occupy is more correct, is rightfully taken by someone who can give what wasn't mine to give. 

So here I am, struggling to find a new way in my life. Lost in the forest with a forest fire burning behind me, and no clear direction to run. I am convinced there is a beautiful meadow somewhere, I just have to figure out how to find it and where to find my sweet, sexy, intelligent, wonderful guide. Where the HELL are you? 

Architcture can be humbling

I have been contemplating lately the reach of what I do as an architect. I became an architect primarily because I wanted to create homes. Places for the human race to find refuge from the elements. After all that is what a home is, a place of refuge where we can connect with those we love. 

It's what puzzles me about people who purchase a home as an investment. I think this has been brought on somewhat by we in the housing industry who refer to a group of homes as "product". When we use commodity terms for what we create, how can the public help but look at what they are purchasing in the same way. To that end I have endeavored to remove the word "product" from my work vocabulary when I am discussing what I create each day. Of course my friends all say that all I do is sit around an doodle... and that is true to an extent. 

So I sit here creating homes each day... oh sometimes there are other buildings, but mostly homes. And then one day this summer I landed a project in Dubai. Yes, that Dubai in the UAE. As I was working on those homes earlier this month, it all of a sudden dawned on me that I am creating homes in another country, for another culture, and I was totally humbled. What a trip. These homes have many of the same things that homes here do, after all they did hire a Californian architect. Then you get to the maid's room (barely 7 feet by 7 feet) and you remember you are in a totally different world where space is valued to the point that it isn't wasted on frivolous rooms that are 20 feet wide and 30 feet long. 

Anyway I am humbled by the experience, and thrilled. Maybe I will even get to go there one day and see them built. 

Some Things Give Me Hope

Specifically two people really... I am blessed to have been given the priveledge of meeting the new guy in my best friend's life. It's of course, too early to tell where this all might lead, but still there is inspiration.

Inspiration that one day, out of the blue, I will find someone who causes me to pause and consider changing course. Someone who will cause me to giggle like I never have before. Someone who will make my eye twinkle with the light of joy that we only find in another human being.

Inspiration that even yet at 46 years old I might find a guy who laughs at my lame jokes and welcomes my best friend into his life like he's always been there.

Inspiration that two lives can intersect without one having to change entirely to coexist with the other.

Inspiration that yet, even still, though he is many years late... he will come.

Thanks Big Bear and Little Dude... you bless me.

Dear Senator Craig

Okay today I heard you speaking to the officer who arrested you. Shame shame shame... I think rather than hire an attorney to look at your guilty plea, it might be time for you to look into your soul and come to terms with who and what you are. I am not saying you are gay, it would make me happy if you weren't because men like you only bring shame upon the community that I am a part of.

But let's face it Senator, you are at the very least bisexual. You told the officer that you frequented that very bathroom when you travel through Minneapolis on your frequent trips home to Boise... it seems you probably knew exactly what you were looking for.

When I was married... and knew I was gay, I still kept it zipped except with my wife. If my marriage had not fallen apart of it's own problems, I would still be married and would still have never touched a man. It was only after I filed for divorce, done months and months of soul searching and had reconciled my sexuality with my faith that I touched a man. Unless you are single, or have a clearly agreed upon before hand open relationship... you are CHEATING on your partner.

Enough said.

And they're worried about gay marriage...

Okay, so first I have to admit to watching "Rock of Love with Bret Michaels" on VH 1, but I am totally appalled by the episode I am watching now. Somehow my wanting to marry a man is going to ruin heterosexual marriage, but a television show that demands that women have phone sex with a man with a monitor on his penis in order to measure how good they are at making him horny is just plain ole fun. I cannot believe how disgusting this show is... and it is fair to say, "but you keep watching" yes, I do, because I want to see just how far this will go in the name of entertainment.

In a nutshell, this show's two themes are, alcohol and inappropriate behavior. Catch an episode and be horrified. Moral majority, where are you now?

A woman who has won my heart!

Okay, so I have to give my heart to Elizabeth Edwards... all because of the following:

Elizabeth Edwards reiterated her support for same-sex marriage in a speech Saturday in Sacramento, Calif., saying the idea that it threatens heterosexual marriage is ''complete nonsense.'' ''I think that we have undue fear of gay marriage,'' she said.

WOW... how long have I been saying that? The only thing I can figure the heterosexual community is afraid of is that the homosexual community will be more successful at partnerships so they don't want them called marriage. This woman is clearly secure in her sexual and marital choice and that makes me want to hug her!

Hurray for Elizabeth Edwards... one down and only 200 million or so to go!

I knew it would happen...

So today our venerable administration, namely our president George W. Bush, or as we in San Francisco call him, Shrub, commuted the sentence of Lewis (Scooter) Libby, denouncing that the penalty of 2.5 years in prison was too harsh. As I remember it, when I was a Republican, we were the party of Lincoln, standing for law and order in our nation. I think Shrub may have missed that meeting.

To call a 2.5 year prison sentence for LYING to a prosecutor too harsh is UNCONSCIONABLE to me... not to mention shocking. I figured that Shrub would pardon him on the way out of office in 1.5 years, but to commute his sentence entirely... wow. How I wish Kenneth was home to chew over this one with... but alas he is gadding about Europe... blissfully unaware of the HORROR here in the USA.

Yes, I really think it is horror. I cannot begin to think how I teach my daughter to respect the law and the rulings of the judicial system when our president, yes he is mine too unfortunately, does not. All this on the heels of two rulings of the Supreme Court that basically say, "Hey stop discriminating, we don't need those pesky laws to follow, just be good boys and girls in the playground." SHEESH!

Oh, by the way... I'm back.

OMG! People are stupid!

First, credit and thanks are due to Jason who sent me this video. For once I have something funny to write about before Kenneth.

So this person apparently spent $50,000.00 on a Ford Mustang. And if it wasn't stupid enough that he spent that much money on that automobile, I think the dealer saw him coming, he then proceeded to allow a 14 year old to have the keys... take a look at the results:

http://www.break.com/index/son_crashes_new_car_into_garage.html

Is that TOO funny or what? Not only was he so clueless that he spent all that money on a Ford, but then he gives the keys to a minor and doesn't understand when the car ends up where it did.

We’re Not in Kansas Anymore! Thank GOD!

Well, who knew we would wake up to a Democratic majority in the house, a possible Democratic majority in the Senate and Donald Rumsfeld resigning as Secretary of Defense? Is that the Trifecta of American politics, or what? It is a new dawn. Even George Bush sounded bewildered in his press conference… talking about working with the very people only two days ago he was calling incompetent; he must have thought that Karl Rove was right and now doesn’t know who to believe, because let’s face it, he doesn’t have a thought or belief that is his own. So, Democrats, our problem now is to remember how to make this government work for the people once again. Something that is has been very missing in the past 6 years. Please take a page from the Clinton playbook and work together with what allies you can find in the GOP.

As for values, we need to grab the opportunity and use the platform we have to remind America that we Democrats are indeed for California Values, because in California we value everyone, of every race, creed, religion, and sexuality. You go Ms. Nancy! Show the boys how you can run the congress cleanly and amicably and get things on the desk of this president that he has no desire to see. Show him and the Radical Fundamentalist Right for what they are, a bunch of obstructionist, one note, opportunists. Show this nation what true American Family Values are, that as Christ said, we love one another as he loved us… everyone, the prostitutes, tax collectors, heathens, Republicans and everyone else!

Election Day 2006!

It has been far too long since I have written anything. Sorry people. A few thoughts on subjects past and present:

Amazing Race:
It was sad this week when our wonderful friends from Kentucky were eliminated. We will miss you Kentucky, you made each episode so very genuine and charming. As for the Beauty Queens, or maybe they should be called the Beauty Cunts (sorry ladies), they can fall off the next cliff into a pit of scorpions for all I care. My god, who knew such nice looking women could be so damn mean. So I am left cheering for the Chos and the Alabama Moms... and I hope at least one of those teams makes it to the final three.

The Election:
So the pundents have begun back tracking over the weekend... I am still optimistic, but then again I voted Kerry/Edwards after 5:00 PM on election day in 2004, so what do I know? I still think the Democratic campagne slogan should have been, "Can we just have our constitution back, PLEASE?!?!" But then maybe most of America hasn't noticed the Repubilcan party stealing it, line by line over the past 6 years. It was at least nice to hear that the armed forces newspapers, all three of them, called for Donald's resignation over the weekend... not mine of course, the secretary of defense. When the military is against their boss, it is time to change. How I hope against hope, that America has been listening over the past two months.

On the Horizon:
So our (Kenneth, Rusty, Carlton and Don's) Hawaii Extravaganza is merely two weeks from Friday! I CAN'T WAIT! It has been far far too long since I have been in the islands. It is one of the few places on this planet where I can totally relax... I am so looking forward to it.



Also on the horizon is a special someone's 11th birthday... how that is possible, I have no idea. I am quite certain that I am not old enough to have such a mature child. The picture is from our Disney World trip back in February... seemingly a lifetime ago.

So be sure you get out and vote... your freedom, what remains of it, depends on it.

The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth, so help me God!

I think the current administration and the Christian RADICAL Right has taken this to a scary place.

I come at this with a unique perspective. In my days as a straight man (I know what some of you are thinking because you have said to me, "How could you have ever passed for straight ya big fag?") I found conservative Christianity a safe place to find. Mostly because of it's black and white nature. It was easy. Cut and dried if you will. I had no choices, all the answers were in the book. So I have been in the belly of the beast... some would say deep in the belly.

Well, I am here to tell you, all the answers are in the book, and in studying it, I was forced to live in a TECHNICOLOR world that isn't all easy peezy with all the choices and decisions made for me. And what a BEAUTIFUL world I live in; all the color and all the beauty that is inclusiveness.

It scares me that dialogue is gone from the American experience. It scares me that the God I know is big enough to include differing points of view on many things, and the God that is in vogue is so small that there isn't room for women in the pulpit let alone gays, Buddhists, and Muslims or anyone outside of Christianity.

I heard a comment on Monday, from an evangelical preacher John Hagee who was asked by Terry Gross on Fresh Air about Jewish people and the rapture, to which Hagee responded that some Jews believe in Jesus so they were safe. I don't know how Terry didn't leap over the table and strangle this guy. That he runs around with the title Christian like I do, makes me ill. And this is a preacher tied closely with the current administration.

How can anyone have a dialogue when one side thinks they that THE ONE AND ONLY TRUTH?? What happened to our constitution? If the Democratic Party doesn't simply run on the theme "Could we please have our constitution back?" they are missing the boat.